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I Don’t Forgive and Forget
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I’m No Chef
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Sorry I Can’t, I Have to Feed My Sourdough Starter
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I Am Nicer Than My Face Looks
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Running on Energy Drinks
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If a Ham Can Spiral So Can I
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Woke Up a Bad Btch Again
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Brightest Candle
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Expensive and Difficult
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Be Kind of a Btch
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Christmas Tree Cake
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Don’t Kill My Vibe
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Slippers and Dildo
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Straight Outta My Thirties
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Falls Out, Balls Out
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So Happy I’m Thirty
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I Won’t Die Without Coffee but You Might
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Just a Mom Trying Not to Raise Little Assholes
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Sorry I’m Late, I Stopped for Iced Coffee
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Proud Father of a Few Dumbass Kids
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World’s Okayest Father-in-Law
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